So I’m a feminist…Well I identify as one. Though I’m not one of those nitpicking, makes something out of nothing kind of feminists.
My future sister in law, for instance, does not like the term “man cave” because of the insinuation that women aren’t allowed and the fact that there’s no “woman cave.” Now, a lot of the argument against this is that the rest of the house is. But not really in this relationship. My brother loves decorating too and he’s the one who cooks (We don’t really let her in the kitchen… for… reasons) So the house is both of theirs, and frankly, that’s how it should be regardless. That being said, my brother is very much a nerdy person and she’s, well, not. I told her if it bothers her that much call it a nerd cave. To which she answers, well I’m not a nerd. (This was not said in a derogatory way at all! She just REALLY is not. I’m more nerdy than her and that’s saying something) At this point, I just walked away because it’s their argument and I didn’t feel like dealing with it.
She’s very much a feminist, went to an all girls college, and is, in my opinion, nitpicky. I love her, I really do. I understand the reasoning behind her not liking the term, but I also understand that my brother, not just wants, but needs a space where he can just nerd out. Plus, my brother is the kind of guy that would call it that in name only. It’s not an exclusionary thing for him, just a place where he can have all the nerdiness.
This kind of thing seems to happen a lot and I see it everywhere in this world. I feel like you have to have a balance. Yes there should be equality but that doesn’t mean we should deny differences. I have a friend whose boyfriend had a man cave and she went in there all the time, it was mainly called that because that’s where they kept all the nerdy stuff.
Things that are derogatory and actually sexist I completely understand and frankly agree with. Things like the term “trophy wife” and cat-calling. Things like this, however, for me is where I just don’t see the point. It’s just argument for arguments sake, and a little bit overkill.